Dreams

I remember this,we took this few days ago in your car
very early in the morning,before i go malacca.
There are something stuck in my mind again,same problem,shit
I admit that I was trying to shirk and giving myself a lot of pretence
Sorry,i just dont know how to face the truth.Lost my courage
Seriously felt so contradiction. I felt so guilty
I wanted to go home badly,i wanted to leave malacca immediately
I dont want to study there,dont want to take Management
Well,that's what in my heart i always wanted to say
The challenge i receive, aren't ones I choose to accept
Truth are told, I have no position to refuse.
But then,i think of others.Thinks in many directions,different ways.
My daddy is the one who paid my fees,i'm not the one who paid.
I knew they always want me to have better environment to study
Always gave me the best,wants me to have well education.
Trust me,i really think of it and i really understand.
I'm just nobody,i did nothing for my parents
i dont earn money for home and i used to waste money all the time
Yea,like what i said.I'm not the one who paid,who spent money
There are few k they spent on me just to let me go study there
I knew all these,i really knew.
And i was trying to think for a better solution.
I wanted to move back and study,i dont wanna stay outside.
and i planned to borrow PTPTN,so that i can refund the money myself
or else,i will try to finish the 1st year foundation then i move back
Friday is course registration already,and i haven get my id card back
I really dont what can i do now without my id card,duh
i need the password behind my id card and i need to online register
Well,just let it be . There nothing i can do now.
Urghh,the situation was really weird right now.
I dont know when will i goin back to malacca,perhaps Sunday?
or maybe not going back? who knows
My mom and my dad didnt mention about anything about malacca
just asking me about food there,and my clothes.
And i was not dare to tell my mom that i dont want to go back
Dono where should i start from and dont know when can i say
Help,any volunteer willing to help me? Hahahahahahaha



Externally,the joy appear but not last
Tomorrow,tomorrow and tomorrow.Perhaps i will be alright